Choosing My Religion
Religion has always been a touchy subject. For Christians, there will always be the never-ending comparison/debate between Catholics, Anglicans, Baptist, Methodist, Pentecost, or someone from one of the other numerous variations of Christianity belief. This isn’t something that’s unique to Christianity, because, on the other side of the fence, Islam shares a similar fate…you either subscribe to the beliefs shared by Sunnis, Shias or the Khawarij. All these sub-groups proclaim their truth to hold more evidence than their counterparts. The same depiction is true of other religious beliefs be it Hinduism, Buddhism, and the rest. I have always wondered, essentially what choice do I have?
Somehow “lucky” for me, I am the product of two Christian denominations that had been at loggerheads for the greater part of the last 5 or so centuries. My father a staunch Anglican and my mother a devoted Catholic met under a sycamore tree. A few years later my siblings and I came into this world. We were raised to be Christians. My mum, the designated religious roster master of the family, ensured that we would all attend Sunday school without failure. Every Sunday at 8 am, I would either tag along with my siblings to the Anglican church or choose to go to a Catholic church with my uncles.
From our childhood, we were being accorded the freedom to hop from one church to the next. My parents believed that we had to find a way for ourselves. Raising us to be independent of mind, as long as we subscribed to some form or notion of the Christianity faith. Even though we were all later confirmed and baptized in the Anglican church, this was but a formality. We eventually all switched to different forms of the Christianity faith. To date, none of my siblings is actually Anglican.
I attended a Catholic high school where I later decided to be “a Catholic”. It was an easy decision. Mass was well organized and only lasted an hour. For a teenager, this was a decent deal. In my first year of high school, I had been to a different school where we were all “forced” to be seventh-day Adventists. Boy did I hate Saturdays. Oh, yea, service was on Saturday morning and it went on for several hours, 4 or 5hrs to be precise. I loathed the experience, always joking, “are we praying for a plane?”. I would think as I always got lost in my thought after the first hour or so. Always wondered why someone would want to be an Adventist. But then again, was it really their choice, or were they just born into it like the rest of us.
A few weeks back, I learned that one of my childhood friends had converted to Islam. Oh well, good for him, I thought as I kept on scrolling down my social media feed. There were a few other comments from his other groups of friends. I just hang around long enough to see what our mindset was in 2020. After all, we should be more tolerant, open-minded and accepting of individual decisions and not cast or throw our weight in their independent thought process.
Some comments like “Abomination” got me curious. You see, like the rest of the world, the thought never crossed my mind that my friend will convert to Islam. I mean why should it. It’s not like he committed a crime or something. Moreover; why would it even be my business what he freely chooses to do? We had served together as altar boys in our maiden days. Both having gone to our “beloved” Catholic school where religion was drilled if not pounded into us. In our first year, the deputy principal being a Catholic to the core found it necessary to make studying Christian Religious Education (CRE), compulsory for all students. By design, making all the handful of Muslims and other religious believers in our school to also take this subject. How could she? I thought to myself. But funny enough, my Muslim friends/fellow students relished the challenge and responded by posting the highest grades in the subject.
Besides CRE being made compulsory, Mass was also made compulsory once a month for the entire school and every Sunday for all boarding students. Despite all of us being from varying religious beliefs, we were all caught in the same bucket. As if that wasn’t enough, we had to attend a divinity class offered by one of our Marianist brothers twice a week. Our days began and ended in prayers. This was the catholic schooling system at its best. So, after such a boot camp, I could see why some of us probably needed a break from church. At least I did. I went on a hiatus for a few years. I would drop in for service from time to time. I officially became a CE — a Christmas and Easter type of Christian.
Anyway, back to my friend. Why did he convert, I thought to myself? Did he get married :)? My curiosity was growing, but I didn’t let it distract me. Why did it even matter what his reasoning was? It’s not like he cared that I go to an inter-denominational church now. I had/are in the process of losing my Catholic mindset. It’s no longer a shocker for me for people to stop being religious or even switching beliefs. We live in a more open period in comparison to our parents. They were forced to give up their traditional beliefs and pick up Christianity, Islam, or whatever other foreign belief that they now practice. I wondered if they had a choice, would they have chosen to be Christians or Muslims? Maybe some would still pray to Ngai, Nyasaye, or Mulungu and be happy and satisfied with it.
I have grown to learn and accept that religion is a personal journey and as the Waswahili say, “Kila mtu na mzigo wake”, rather to each its own. It’s not so normal or common for people to convert. But what’s even rare in Kenya is to hear that someone is “an atheist”. It’s almost certain that you have to be born into something and it will be your tag for the greater part of your foreseeable life unless you convert or stop believing altogether. The latter being the rarest outcome.
Looking back at where it all started, from the onset, I was expected to dress up and show up to Sunday school service in my Sunday best. As a kid, I didn’t pay much attention to what my friends believed in. We all just went with the flow. I memorized and recited volumes of memory verses all for the price of getting candy e.g. Koo or Patco (these were still like gold in Eastlands) and on very rare occasions I would be reward with good ol’ Goody Goody caramel bar. This was Sunday school life and the grounds for my belief.
You see back then; we didn’t have a lot of reflection on our freedom of choice. You were born into something and was kind of expected to grow with it. It became part of your identity. But over the years, I realize things have changed. My next-door neighbor and a very good friend to date — DM. Never really attended church. Despite his parents being devoted Christians. They were given the freedom to choose if it was for them or not. To date, they all don’t really go to church, but they are all very decent humans who are contributing immensely to the society. As much as religion plays a huge part in our society, it should first and foremost be cherished at an individual level.
A few years back, I was interested in a girl from a “different” background than I was. One of the immediate things that came to my mind was whether her parents would accept me. The Kenyan/African kid with a funny last name from the eastside of Nairobi. She wasn’t a Christian and I also wondered how my parents would react. She is well educated, from a good family, and is independent and well mannered, I thought to myself. Shouldn’t this be enough? This was going to be my chain of thought as I planned to break the news to my religious Christian family. Long story short, we never got to the point, something larger than religion drove us apart.
We are still good friends to date. But looking back, would religion have been the showstopper? I will certainly never really know what the outcome would have been. I always wondered if we had kids, what would they be? Is there something like a half Christian and half something else? Like a hybrid religion :). I chuckled as this thought crossed my mind.
In life, we are all in search of happiness and something to hold on to. Religion has played a key role in filling this need in us. It is a journey and not a destination in itself. I remember one of my former bosses, who worked and lived in the middle east, telling me how he found visiting a mosque to be quite peaceful. Despite being an Anglican himself. He has had a curiosity to learn and appreciate other religious beliefs. I can attest and relate to this, as I have made it a habit to try and understand other religious practices. I am currently reading the Gita. It is quite an interesting book. There are things there that I agree with and in a similar manner, I spent some time in the past reading the Quran. I plan to read works by Baháʼu’lláh next as I carry on this journey of discernment.
All religious beliefs, be it the major ones or the smaller indigenous ones, all share some commonalities. They all advocate for peace, love, and unity. At times, I am really hard-pressed to begin to understand why religion is even an issue. Ever wondered why someone would victimize their fellow human for something which they didn’t even choose to believe in in the first place. Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddist, Jew…you name it, most of us are born into it. Most of it is not really a self-made choice, otherwise, we would have more converts. But religious rifts are a discussion for another day. For now, I keep pondering as to what may have made my good old altar boy of a friend, to trade his rosary for the misbaḥah.
© Untitled’s Cut
