Letter to my unborn child…
“Death” right here could drive a sane man berserk — Kanye West.
To my unborn Son…
I was out for a run a few weeks back. I normally run to music as I find it to be a great companion and running is a therapeutic session for me. Especially since I choose music that allows me to get lost in my thoughts. On this particular day, I randomly sampled Jay Electronica’s new album — A written Testimony. It’s a great album and was totally worth the wait I must say. But what struck my interest was this song — A.P.I.D.T.A. (“All Praise Is Due To Allah”). It’s a type of song that takes you to a deep dark place. A song that was written after the untimely death of the legendary basketball player, Kobe Bryant. Unfortunately, you never got to see him play. He was phenomenal.
Son, when Kobe died, the entire world went into mourning. It was a tragic day; he and 8 other passengers were traveling to attend a basketball game. One of the other 9 who perished was his own daughter, Gigi. The song continues… “I got numbers on my phone that’ll never ring again. ’Cause Allah done called them home, so until we sing again. I got texts in my phone that’ll never ping again. I screenshot ’em so I got ’em, I don’t want this thing to — ”. Jay narrates his struggles with loss in this song… having to keep screenshots of texts to serve as memories.”
As the song continued, “Lately I haven’t been sleeping well…,” All it made me do was reflect. I found myself wrestling with thoughts about life and death. Music has a strange way of drawing us to a very emotional place. Although there are times, we turn to music for uplifting, the contrary is equally true. Like a double-edged sword, music can dig up buried memories. As I internalized the music, I couldn’t help it but think about all the loved ones we had lost. All the people who left us too soon.
My Son, the story I’m about to tell you happened about 20 years ago. I was barely in my teens and he was barely in his 20s. He was the budding star of the music scene. I looked up to him in reverence. His music was revolutionary and had me believe we could make it. He took the scene by storm, making music that defied all odds. “Wanati na mabarbie…”, these lyrics had all of us drawn to his music.
Now, I must admit it, I never thought music would mean more than just words to me. I had song lyrics printed on pieces of paper and put them up on my bedroom wall. They ceased to be just words; they were pictures in motion. They told a story. A story behind the music. These were images I saw in my mind.
Issah Mmari Wangui, or better known to his fans as E-Sir, is arguably one of the most talented artists to ever do it on this side of the Sahara. He was certainly ahead of his time. He was such a great storyteller, and his album Nimefika; was a Swahili masterpiece. A classic to that effect. E-sir’s music lived the Nairobi lifestyle. And although he faced some criticism for not making socially impacting music, even the fans of the likes of “Kalamashaka” and K-South Flava paid an ear to E-sir’s rhythmic flow. What E-Sir gave us in his music, was an escape that was dearly needed. His songs like Bamba, Saree, Mos Mos, and Boomba Train, were all chart-toppers with the latter having gone to arguably become one of the biggest songs in Kenya’s chart history. It could only be rivaled by a handful of other songs. As you can tell my son, E-sir was one of my favorite Kenyan artists of all time.
I remember feeling so cool in high school when I could sing along to his entire album word for word. I would sit with some of my mates and we would mimic how E-Sir would rap as we tried to outdo each other. He made music that, for me as a young kid from the Eastside, helped me forget about my surrounding for a minute and appreciate the high life. “Sababu inabamba, inashika, wingu la tisa inatufikisha.”
Son, on the fateful day of March 16, 2003, as I was watching an FA football match with your grandfather, I remember the game being interrupted to report some tragic breaking news. A road accident along the Nairobi-Nakuru highway involving E-sir and others including music artist Nameless. Unfortunately, E-sir, did not make it.
Son, E-sir was only 21. At such a tender age…he had met his demise. It was a sad day for the country. Losing such a young and talented lad. I could only imagine what his family and friends were feeling. Our lyrical tongue twister, the guy who had made Kiswahili sanifu so dope to listen to, the guy who had popularized if not coined the term, “uko freshi lakini?”, our local musical hero was no more.
If you, my son, ever get the chance, please listen to his album. I would especially recommend Hamunitishi, Which I believe is among my favourite songs from the album. It is a song that brings me joy and sadness all the same. “Bila spare tyre. Nasafiri kwenye barabara ya maisha bila kutaka. Saa yoyote naweza kupata puncture. Kwa hivyo naendesha gari yangu pole pole sana”. These lyrics showed how E-Sir was already cautious in his approach, knowing it could all be gone in a minute’s notice.
He continues in his song to thank everyone who helped him through his journey to the top. He thanked his family, his crew, “Pirates mpaka kufa. Na singependa kukufa bila nyinyi kujua. Mimi si mimi bila nyinyi”. He showed his appreciation for his record label, Ogopa for believing in him and more so, he thanked us, his fans, for standing with him. For always requesting his music and telling the radio presenters to hit replay., “Mimi si mimi bila nyinyi. Na nyinyi ndio maisha ninayoishi, Ndio sababu hawanitishi”.
Son, it’s been 17 years since this fateful day. I just finished listening to Nimefika, his one and only album, Which I believe will remain to be one of my favorite albums to have ever come out from the Kenyan music industry. It is such a complete project which was ahead of its time. He was only getting started. We can only imagine what our current industry would have been like for someone who of his talent and caliber his music.
Death robbed his family of a son, a brother, a grandson, an uncle, a cousin; someone they had loved and cared for in a way we would never fully comprehend. For his crew — Pirates, they definitely lost a comrade, a friend, a confidant, someone who they held in high esteem. Through his talent, he absolutely helped a few artists break into the music industry. A gift they will forever cherish. Truly, his legacy is a void that will forever remain unfilled.
My son, death is cruel. Death robs us of the love and care of those we hold dear in our lives. It persistently stings and deliberately makes us endure the inexplicable feeling of loss. Losing our family members or friends is hard. Death doesn’t make sense and it never will. No man has been able to fully comprehend the emptiness it leaves behind.
Son; make sure to enjoy the company of those whom you love…Love and care meaningfully. Be intentional in your deeds and allow yourself to deeply cherish and appreciate those that do the same for you. Live and get lost in the moment…live every day like it was your last. Make it a norm to positively impact someone else’s life no matter how small the act of kindness. Always and forever, cherish the ones you love!!!
Your loving Dad.
Dedicated to our loving sister and friend…there is no day that passes without us missing you. It feels like it was just yesterday. We forever remember and cherish your memories.
In loving memory…to all the loved ones that we lost. May your candles forever burn.
© Untitled’s Cut
Follow us: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Translations:
“Wanati na mabarbie…”, — Both rich and poor neighbourhoods.
Nimefika — I have arrived.
“Sababu inabamba, inashika, wingu la tisa inatufikisha.” — It's so nice and catchy, it takes us to cloud nine.
Kiswahili sanifu — official Kiswahili.
“uko freshi lakini?” — You good? (used like a greeting).
“Bila spare tyre. Nasafiri kwenye barabara ya maisha bila kutaka. Saa yoyote naweza kupata puncture. Kwa hivyo naendesha gari yangu pole pole sana”. — Without a spare tyre, I travel on this road called life without want. At any time I could get a puncture. So I drive my car very slowly.
“Pirates mpaka kufa. Na singependa kukufa bila nyinyi kujua. Mimi si mimi bila nyinyi”. — Pirates until I die. And I wouldn’t wanna die before letting you know, there is no E-Sir without you guys.
“Mimi si mimi bila nyinyi. Na nyinyi ndio maisha ninayoishi, Ndio sababu hawanitishi”. — I am not myself without you guys. And you guys are the life that I am living and for that reason, they ain't scaring me.
